Even if you are tied up and gagged you can do this Advanced Mental Training for sex.
The end benefit? You decide. People have experienced more rapport, connectedness and understanding from this mental training.
Follow along with the steps of this transcript from a private session with Jim, an Inner Circle Member of mine, and his lover Lily.
1. Choose 1 particular orgasmic experience: “Jim, I want you to think of a time that you had great orgasm. Pick one particular time that you can remember thoroughly.”
“Relive this time when you had a great orgasm from your own point of view.
You are seeing out of your own eyes, hearing with your own ears, and having the feelings you had in response to that time.”
2. Now look over at Lily [your lover], your and notice how her way of being in the world is expressed nonverbally in her voice tone, her tempo, her postures, movements, and gestures, etc.
Temporarily leaving behind your own beliefs, values and assumptions about sex, gently move toward her and step into her, so that you can experience this
situation as she does. As if you are your lover.
As your lover, run that same mental movie of that sex scene, as you discover what it is like to be her having this orgasm with you.
Take some time to do this, again with a sense of curiosity about what you can learn from this. What thoughts you are having?
How and where in your body do you notice orgasm?
How does your body react?
You may want to repeat the mental movie once or twice to be sure that you experience it all thoroughly from this perspective…
3. Now I want you to allow yourself to move out to the side to a comfortable position from which you can see yourself and your lover equally well (or allow the scene to move around until you are in a comfortable position to observe the two of you).
From this position… Run the exact same mental movie that you just saw. But from this new perspective, seeing and hearing that time when you had sex again, this time simply with an attitude of curiosity about what you can learn about this interaction between him and her over there.
K. DuBois M.A., B.A., C.HT.