I’m curious what your strategy for falling in love and what’s your strategy for staying in love with that person.
A ‘strategy’ refers to how we create mind-body-emotion states that determine steps that create the experience. Similar is a formula for baking a pie. There are certain steps and ingredients that go into baking the pie for it to come out just right. If we follow the instructions, we can replicate it again and again.
This holds true for love too. There is a structure to loving and being loved. Most people have not given conscious thought to what “counts” as love to us.
And since our love strategy consists mainly of internal processes that we go through to create the sense of being in love it can be truly beneficial to take a moment to find your strategy.
Have you ever felt “romantic love?” [notice the specification – romantic. Specify and you will get a better result].
What was it like? When did that happen?
How do you know it was romantic love?
Now go back to that time and place in your mind where you felt romantic love. Pick out one specific memory. Be there now, experience it as though you are there.
Explore your strategy:
What were you experiencing that brings on this feeling?
What do you need to see, hear or feel to know that you’re totally romantically loved?
Is it something you see?
Hear? Certain words or tone?
Being touched in a certain way?
What let’s you know?
What has to be there for you to be loved?
If you are not quite sure, then check by eliminating sensory awarenesses.
For example, if you saw the things that are important for you but you were not touched, would you know you’re romantically loved?
And just keep eliminating until you find the lead strategy.