Listening or hearing or even reading is a selective process. Not everyone hears or see the same things. Several people will witness the same crime and totally disagree with what they witnessed. The jury will collect the evidence and not draw collective agreement. Just like reading this piece right here, one person will pick up one thing and another reader will pick up another piece of information totally unique and different.
The influence of sensory dominance is profound. Not only do words influence the trust people have with you, they also influence what messages get through their unconscious filters. Word choices help determine what you and your lover remember, experience and enjoy. One key to setting triggers is to use the “best” words for your lover (and for yourself).
This is because most people want their own preference of sensory language. The other language bypasses them and often times it will be deleted from entering the process of giving it meaning.
Sensory dominance is revealed by the actions words (verbs and predicates) you tend to choose at any given time. Those words reveal the way you are processing information (thinking) at the moment.
“I see what is going on here.” Visual
“I hear what you are saying.” Auditory
“I get this good feeling about you.” Kinesthetic
“This stinks.” Olfactory
“That is sweet.” Gustatory
In the West very few people express themselves using gustatory or olfactory words therefore the majority of sensory expressive words are in the visual, auditory or kinesthetic faculties.
A Visual person is someone who tends to prefer to use the eyes for perceiving as well as for remembering and thinking. An auditory person tends to use listening, hearing and speaking as preferred ways of noticing and learning. The Kinesthetic person is apt to rely on what he or she may call intuition as well as the sense of touch to relate to the world.
Most people use all three languages in expressing themselves. Under pressure, however, one sensory language is usually preferred over the other two, and if the stress is particularly high, they may choose the one language to exclusion of the other two.
For example, you may know a Visual person who, under stress, finds it impossible to listen to suggestions or comments from others, because he/she “sees” clearly what needs to be done to solve the crisis.
Sometimes, you can identify a person’s sensory dominance by watching carefully what interests them. A Kinesthetic person on date will fidget, play with their hair. A Visual may stare at you without really seeming to focus-they may even look you up and down. An Auditory may ramble…
Careful observation can sometimes give you a clue to a lover’s preferred language.